Are you in NYC and trying to meet a hot guy? Is a hot guy who is bald but is hot still bald? These are all very important questions that demand answers. I understand. I have found my hot New York guy, and I'm here to help you find yours.

Play stupid: Now, you might already be getting angry. You may be thinking that I am setting feminism back fifty years. And that may or may not be true. But give me a listen. Pretend you don't know how to be on a boat. Hell, maybe even fall off the boat. It doesn't mean anything except that you want to set off a guy's natural instinct for protecting you. 

Wear holographic shoes, skirts, etc.: Honestly, holographic things are amazing. They are shiny, and give men the illusion that they can see up your skirt (they can't.) 

Bring bacon: Honestly, I should not have to explain this.

Try going at it alone: Nothing is sexier than being unafraid of your own shadow. Not bringing a friend will signal that you are comfortable in your own skin, may actually enjoy boating and erm, are not just there to meet men. 

Bring a tube: Now THAT is a way to make conversation. Huh? Huh? Combine with falling off the boat and we really have a winner!


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